The Guardian: We all know that Torpey wears a thong

Source: The Guardian: We all know that Torpey wears a thong

'We all know that Torpey wears a thong'

FC United's Tony Howard discovers that supporters' lyrical enthusiasm remains inspired - even in the North West Counties League

Wednesday October 26, 2005

One of the traditional attractions of top-flight football has always been the vocal interaction between supporters. But, this season, fans who have traded Old Trafford for FC United are finding new means of entertaining themselves off the pitch.

With few, if any, away fans in the North West Counties League to aim songs at, the red army have created a series of anthems that every man, woman and ball-boy joins in with. Unlike at Old Trafford, where a simple shout of "United!" would be greeted with quizzical looks from tourists, at Gigg Lane a new choral community has flourished.


"Marginson's fruit and veg army" take their name from the contents of manager and delivery driver Karl Marginson's van. Accompanying songs range from United classics to an adaption of Spandau Ballet's 'Gold' for striker Aidie Orr. "Always believe in the Orr, he's got the power to score, he's indestructible," they sing. He's responded with 12 goals, including two in the 5-0 win over Nelson on Saturday.

At one recent trip to the pub, the players let slip Steve Torpey's choice of underwear. Ever since he has been regaled with: "We all know that Torpey wears a thong," to the tune of Yellow Submarine.

The opposition goalkeepers receive a warm welcome; a favourite among fans up and down the land, the Kaiser Chiefs' 'I Predict A Riot' has become "I predict a diet" for portly custodians. To their great credit, visiting players have lapped it up.

There's even banter between 'rival' stands with many claiming the Main Stand is replacing the 'Singing End' as the place to go. But the songs that sum up the ethos of the club are still aimed at current employees of Malcolm Glazer.

Rio Ferdinand's summer contract drama has inspired, to The Inspiral Carpets' hit 'This is How it Feels', "I don't care about Rio, he don't care about me. All I care about is watching FC."

And even Sir Alex Ferguson isn't spared. In response to his comment that fans unhappy with Old Trafford should go watch Chelsea, he is mocked to Salford-inspired 'Dirty Old Town', made famous by The Pogues. "And Fergie said: 'Go and watch Chelsea'. Are you having a laugh? We'll be watching FC." Having a laugh we are - away fans or not.

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