The Guardian: When silence is golden

Source: The Guardian

When silence is golden

FC United's Tony Howard explains how a microphone jinx is the biggest problem blighting the club's current campaign

Friday December 16, 2005

The FC United crowd may have developed a reputation for making a racket, but, ironically, the club appears to have a jinx with microphones. The strange curse struck again at the club's Christmas party when a planned question-and-answer session with the manager, team and board members was cut short because the pesky sound system kept cutting out.

It was to be the first chance for founder members to quiz the club on the first few months of existence, but instead everyone was reduced to shouting to a packed room, leaving manager Karl Marginson and acting general manager Andy Walsh with damaged vocal chords. Before it got out of hand, though, Steve Torpey took the opportunity to reveal how he "dare" support Liverpool, and Margy put everyone at ease by promising not to leave for the vacant Old Trafford hot seat should Mr Ferguson exit.

Those on the top table were thankful they had an excuse to ignore the best question of the night from a child who must have been five years old. He simply asked: "When was football invented?" Cue blank looks from all present.

The latest audio setback came after months of continued problems with the sound system at Gigg Lane, which left some in the crowd shocked to learn that we do actually have people manning the PA. DJs Bobby B and Peanut are proud of their music selections, but no one else can really pass comment because we've hardly heard them. They do appear to have developed a taste for hip hop, given their unique Mancunian 'rapping' when making announcements. "And ... goal ... United ... score ... five ... minutes," being a typical example of their 'freestyling'.

They had their work cut out - literally - on Saturday as FC chalked up the North West Counties League scoring record with a 10-2 victory over Castleton Gabriels to continue to lead at the top of the table.

The lads themselves blame the amount of 'fatties' in the Manchester Road End for muffling the sound, and they have requested a ban on bubble jackets for the same reason. It may get better as the season wears on, but for now it appears to be more a case of the Sound of Silence than the Sound of Music emanating from the DJ booth on a match day. Anyway, when was football invented ...